In the first two parts of this series, we looked at the issues of lack of enjoyment and lack of trust as two of the factors responsible for wives being averse to having sex with their husbands.

In this third and final part, we’ll be considering the issue of unhappiness, or, as it is more commonly being called these days – depression.

Depression is defined very simply as a feeling of severe despondence and dejection. It is characterized by sadness, a loss of interest in one’s typical activities, fatigue, anxiety and in some cases, even suicidal thoughts.

As you can imagine, a woman who is suffering from depression is likely to develop an aversion to sex. The unfortunate thing however, is that most times, especially in Africa, depression doesn’t ge clinically diagnosed early enough.

Post-partum depression – which is depression stemming from childbirth and/or related issues, is becoming more and more common in Africa, especially amongst modern day women who may find themselves tending their newborn without any helping hand, while still dealing with such infrastructural issues as erratic power supply and water shortages. Doctors would normally ask new mothers to stay off sexual relations for four to eight weeks after childbirth (for vaginal deliveries) and sometimes longer for deliveries by caesarian section. When this is added to the physical and emotional exhaustion typically faced by nursing mothers, it goes without saying that it should not come as a surprise if the woman in question should develop an aversion to having sex with her husband.

The best thing a man in such a situation can do is to endeavour to reassure his wife, time and again, that he still cherishes her, that she is a lot more to him than just a baby-dispenser (a common feeling among nursing mothers) and that he still finds her desirable. Even as he makes time to be with his child/children, he must be particular about making himself available from time to time to show his appreciation of his wife.


While the issues addressed in this series are by no means the only ones that could cause sexual aversion in women, I believe that they are responsible for it in many cases.

It is understandable that a man reading this series may think that the writer is a biased feminist. In my defense, I would just like to give a soft reminder of the title of the article: Why Your Wife Is Averse to Sex. As the title suggests, it is written from a woman’s point of view, for the benefit of men.

Leave me a comment, would you? I would love to hear from you.

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